Shoulda Run the Bitches Down!

Reprise, y’all. Spent the week at a writer’s conference…
Enjoy!
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noir2

I make it from bed to the lot in thirty minutes and interrupt Kojak the dispatcher to throw him a bribe for an airport.

He’s arguing with an African driver accused of owing back gate and takes my 5 without breaking from the tit for tat. Then he hands me a Citizen’s Cab business card with a time and address written on it denoting “SFO”.

Great. It’s over by Candlestick. They could walk to the airport.

I head out to 434 – my “Wednesday” Camry – and start alcohol-wiping her insides down when my custom Spermulator ringtone goes off.

It’s Christian! Wonder why he’s calling this early…

Wow. Seems he was jumped outside his apartment in the Tenderloin by three vatos. They gun-butted him on the head after holding him up and taking his money. He wants a ride just a few blocks up the hill to the St Francis ER; he’s too shaken to walk.

Guess my first ride of the day’s gonna be pro bono.
I jump on 101 north, headed toward the TL.

I meet Christian and once in back I can see he needs stitches. (Looks kinda freaked-out, too.) We start to head up Lev from Turk, and immediately get caught at a red at Eddy.

Suddenly, the three vatos all oblivious n’ laughin it up, start crossing in the cross-walk right in front of us! Incredulous at the nerve of these assholes messing with my friend, I’m overwhelmed as my foot starts to twitch, scratching for the gas pedal to run the bitches down.

Then I think better of this course of action, what with the giant ‘434’, and ‘Citizens Cab’ logo emblazoned on my taxi n’ all. Probably not the brightest idea mowing down three teenage gangbangers a block from a police station. And all while driving a billboard advertising my employment.

I settle for just buzzing the bastards fast and close, right as they’re reaching the sidewalk. I’m sure they think nothing of it though; just another crazy cabbie. Off to get a cop…

But! Christian is adamant I NOT get the police involved. He insists I just take him to the emergency room; worried there’ll be retaliation if he “narcs”. But I’m having none of it.

We arrive at the Tenderloin substation in seconds. I pull up fast to a halt, and honk at a cop just getting out of his police van. And I relay our story. But Dragnet just sighs all heavy, sayin’ we gotta come in and fill out a police report.

I bark back, “Sir, I am taking my passenger to the emergency room for stitches.”

But Dragnet just persists on with how he “Can’t do nuthin’ without a police report.”

In disgust I rake him sarcastic with, “Sorry, just thought you’d wanna know when violent thugs robbing people at gunpoint – before gun butting them in the face – are only two blocks away casually strolling around, and WAVING THEIR GUN!”

Not sure how many times I actually used “gun” in the sentence, but we seem have gotten Dragnet’s attention.

He relents, ducking into the rear window to get a better look at Christian; who now’s cowering in the back seat recessed in his hoodie.

Dragnet’s eyes widen as he just sees the gash in Christian’s forehead. He pulls out a pad and pen (now serious) and asks for a description of our vatos.

Still, Dragnet rebuffs my offer to actually lead him to the thugs.

Resigned, we give him our info before speeding off up Lev toward the E.R.

Christian gets out at the St Francis E.R. entrance on Bush. And we part.

I go west into the predawn, cruising past the transsexual prostitutes working the Polk Strip, as I also scan the streets for my next meal. It strikes me… our lots are not so dissimilar.

I’ll later get an update from Christian; Seems like five cops did eventually show up at the hospital… to get a report. Though, from the sound of the cops’ lackluster enthuse, there’s little doubt this’ll be the last we hear of it. Shoulda run the bitches down!

But yeah, I ‘Accept’.

 

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Stills & Vines shot by Christian Lewis. Music by Alex Sack – with Erich Mandrell on bass.
Thx, brothers!

San Francisco TAXI: Life in the Merge Lane… (Book 2) out now!

Also check out Alex’s Book 1 – San Francisco TAXI: A 1st Week in the ZEN Life…
And Follow on Facebook and Twitter for your non-practicing Buddhist one-offs.

 

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